All from professors:
"So, ladies, if you have a boyfriend that won't commit, it's not because he's a jerk - he's a MUTANT! (vasopressin AVPR1 mutant)"
"Nodular by nature" (on the thyroid)
"As everyone knows, when you remove the pineal gland from a patient, they become soulless, flesh-eating zombies. It's very dangerous."
"I love giving lectures on guts and butts - so put your seatbelts on."
“daily bowel action”
"through some variety of transvaginal route, she thought she had acquired medical knowledge*”
My moment of Zen**:
"I'm not saying that in order to be a physician, you have to have a dirty mind...but it helps."
*wow, this would make med school so much more FUN
**if you don't know that this references The Daily Show, you need to get on that.